Sample Dialogue #8

Patriotic Austrian Easter Eggs
are much easier to dye than American
ones.

In class, during a lesson on holidays.

Scott: Can anybody explain why we celebrate Easter?
Student: Easter is the day when Jesus stood up and drove to heaven.
Scott: With the bus or with the car?

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Aufstehen -  "to arise/to stand up"
die Himmelfahrt - "the Ascension," more literally, "heaven drive"

Easter Itinerary

Since Italy and work/productivity are more or less incompatible concepts, I may not be able to update the old blog very frequently in the next two weeks, however anyone who's curious parties can always consult the following travel schedule.

At least eleven trains will be ridden in the
next two weeks.  Time will tell what
percentage of the Italian ones will be on time.



April 12 - Overnight train to Italy
April 13 - Rome (Colosseum, Circus Maximus)
April 14 - Rome (Vatican, St. Peter's)
April 15 - Pompeii/Subiaco
April 16 - Rome (Catacombs, Spanish Steps)
April 17 - Rome (Pantheon)
April 18-21 - Corniglia/hiking in the Cinque Terre
April 21 - Pisa
April 22 - Florence
April 23 - Florence
April 24 - Klagenfurt
April 25 - Vienna
April 26-May 4 - Waidhofen
April 29 - Innsbruck
April 30 - Bregenz
May 1-4 - Waidhofen
May 5-May 8 - London

Then just 17 days and I'll be back in America!

Ein Gutes Neues Jahr

After completing about two-thirds of my holiday travels without updating my blog, I became anxious that my readers would begin to lose interest and decided to post a partial update.  Right now I'm in a hostel in Hamburg resting from a long train ride that left Vienna at 6:30 am, just minutes after the ball dropped in New York.  Needless to say I'm rather proud of catching such a train, uncaffeinated, on the hangover holiday of the year.  

Despite having only about ninety minutes of sleep so far in 2011, I admit that I had an excellent Silvester - as Germans call New Years Eve.  Although I was sad to forego Dick Clark (or is it Ryan Seacrest?) and the annual Twilight Zone Marathon, I was happy to discover some new December 31 traditions with my girlfriend Maggie and a few of our friends from college.  Here are highlights from the last night's Vienna program (official and unofficial):

-Pouring molten lead into cold water to predict your 2011 fortune.  My glob formed itself roughly into the shape of a shoe.  Its meaning is open to interpretation.
-Hot punch
-Unsanctioned fireworks

New Years is a busy day for the purchase
of useless plastic trinkets

-Sadly, missing the Madonna cover show in Vienna's 1st District
-Buying lucky Austrian New Years totems: pigs, mushrooms, chimney sweeps, and clovers (seem  Irish...)
-Attempting to waltz to Strauss at midnight, failing due to lack of space and ability to waltz.

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And the first vocabulary lesson of the New Year is einen guten Rutsch - a nice German New Years greeting that literally translates to wishing someone a "good slide."  I do not know the etymology of this phrase, but I suspect that it might relate to a champagne-related decrease in ability to walk (or waltz) properly.

Erntedankfest

Apfelstrudel is basically apple pie.

I anticipated some anxiety on the part of my friends and family on the issue of whether I'd be having a proper Thanksgiving (sometimes called Erntedankfest, or Harvest Thanks Party) here in Austria.  To clarify matters like so much butter - I traveled on Thanksgiving to the village of Wieselburg, home of the famous beer (occasionally on special at the GCB in Providence).  Here I met with an American friend from Brown and we cooked a reasonable authentic Thanksgiving dinner, with the following minor exceptions:

-Instead of apple pie, we had Apfelstrudel, which is more or less the same stuff in a different pie dish.  The nutrional value, at least, is as lacking.
-Instead of cranberry sauce, we had cranberry marmalade.  Although it looked gourmet, I still missed the gelled kind that proudly displays the ridges from the tin can.
-Instead of turkey, we had chicken.  This particular substitution was unfortunate, but supposedly eating chicken is more eco-friendly anyways.
-Instead of American relatives, we ate with two Austrian adults, two New Englanders, and one girl from Northern Ireland.  In such a mashed-up casserole of dialects, I found the Austrian easier to understand than the Irish.

I also celebrated the holiday in the classroom by teaching my students all about our beloved and peculiar institution.  The one aspect they seemed most intersted in, oddly enough, was how to make a turkey out of construction paper by tracing your hand - a rite of passage for all American kindergarteners. 

Who is Krampus?

Krampus - the Publically-Sanctioned Child-Scarer

The handsome gentleman seen to the right is named Krampus, the beloved descendant of a terrifying, pre-Christian Alpine tradition.  I was introduced to him last night when an Austrian friend from Waidhofen generously offered to take me to a Perchtenlauf in the nearby town of Ybbsitz.  Having no idea what a Perchtenlauf might be, and feeling too embarrassed to ask, I gladly accepted the invitation. 

As it turns out, a Perchtenlauf is a traditional parade held annually in many Austrian towns during the Christmas season.  (NOTE: Although it is questionable whether the Christmas season has already properly started, I have noticed that without Thanksgiving as a semi-official starting line, Austrians have a harder time agreeing upon exactly when it is permissible to start celebrating and shopping like maniacs.)  Perchtenlauf is equivalent, perhaps, to America's Macy's Day Parade, but without Matt Lauer or the famously large (and sometimes deadly) balloons.  Instead, a traditional Perchtenlauf features packs of young men dressed as the character Krampus. 

These young men, who are active members of large Krampus clubs, dress up with horns and masks made of wood and sheep skin and wield torches, flares, and clubs as they march through the streets terryfing women and children.  Thankfully, no one is ever actually burned, bitten, or stabbed, and everyone has a good time.  Ample quantities of spiced cider increase the excitement and, along with all the flames, keep the crowd warm. (Click here for a cool Krampus-themed holiday drink recipe)

The Perchtenlauf in Ybbsitz came early in the season, as the busiest day of the year for Krampus is St. Nikolaus Day, the Sixth of December.  On the eve of this holiday, St. Nikolaus/Nicholas - essentially Santa Claus, but dressed more like the Pope (left) - brings presents to well-behaved children, but dispatches the gruesome Krampus to naughty children, whom are then dragged into the pits of hell.  When I asked my Austrian companions to clarify the relationship between Krampus and St. Nikolaus, they explained that they are neither friends nor enemies, but rather co-workers, with St. Nikolaus holding the dominant, upper-management position.

Outside of Perchtenlauf and St. Nikolaus Day, the Krampus tradition is carried out on weekend nights by young men who use the opportunity to harrass women with large cowbells, rusty chains, and home-made whips.  The practice is especially popular at nightclubs and in the province of Styria.  Although this tradition would certainly lead to legal action in the United States, it's all in good fun and even the children really seem to love it.

For some great news footage of one of last year's larger Perchtenlaufs, click here.

Hallo-Wien



Me as Pirate/Cultural Ambassador

 With a name that's so ripe for that Halloween pun, it's amazing that the holiday has apparently only become popular in Wien in recent years - a fairly innocuous result of globalization, dentists aside. 

Thanks to the little-known, but very Catholic All Souls' and All Saints' Days, I enjoyed a second long weekend in a row and decided to visit the capital city and seek other be-costumed Americans who share my passion for gorging on Snickers, Haribo Gummis, and other Halloween hallmarks.

I reneged on my plans to dress up as Schoolhouse Rock's "Just a Bill" (too obscure for Austrians) and decided to dress as a pirate because I happened to own some appropriate clothing, although I sadly lacked a proper hook.  Despite living in a landlocked country, Austrians seem to appreciate that Johnny Depp-tinged pirate subculture that has been flourishing in the US for the past few years.  Just the same, I was surprised, but satisfied, when two youngsters shouted, "Ahoy, pirat!" at me in the underground.

To keep the weekend spooky, I also visited the Zentralfriedhof - Austria's largest cemetery.  Here I visited the graves of two of music's true legends: Beethoven and Falco.  Falco's grave was far and away the more popular and more stunning of the two.



Grave of Austrian Pop Legend Falco - of Rock Me Amadeus fame

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As my word of the day, I offer Intimfeindschaft.  An Austrian friend of mine suggested that it was one of German's heavy hitters, and I certainly agree.  It translates literally to "intimate enmity or hostility," and I think it's roughly equivalent to the popular Americanism "frenemies."