Funny Signs, Part II - Church Signs

A real gem from my trip back in 2008.  Found in Paris, KY

Something I've noticed on this trip is that the only organizations with signs as consistently punny as hairdressers are churches.  Although churches are not often known their sense of humor or marketing savvy, somehow they excel at dorky, but attention-grabbing wordplay and turns of phrase.  Some are pleasant and witty ("This church is prayer conditioned") while others are dark and gloomy ("Live each day like it is your last and someday you will be right").  All are amusing.  Here is a sample of what I've seen so far:

"You cannot stumble on your knees." - Wells, ME

"You have one new friend request from Jesus.  Accept or ignore?" - Kittery, ME

"If you need to make ends meet, put Jesus in the middle." - Buffalo, PA

"God wants full custody, not just weekends." - Penns Hills, PA

"Sign broken, the message is inside." - Deersville, OH

"What part of 'Thou Shalt Not' did you not understand?" - Columbus, OH (the sassiest of them all)

"Don't look back.  You're not going that way." - Nashville, IN (near the bad ass town of Gnaw Bone, IN).

"7 days without prayer make one weak." - Xenia, IL (my favorite so far)

"What is missing from Ch _ _ ch?  U R."  - Breese, IL

"And you think this is hot? - God." - Lake Ozark, MO

"ATM inside. Atonement, truth, & mercy." - Springfield, MO

"The closer you are to the son, the less likely you'll get burned." - Stroud, OK

"God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore they don't exist." - Stroud, OK

"Life is an adventure in forgiveness." - Edmond, OK

Funny Signs, Part 1

Too good to be true.

We all understand the appeal of puns.  They entertain, then vex the mind, and they mock.  As I've been riding across the Northeast and Midwest, I've noticed that for some reason one type of business relies more heavily on punny, ironic, and pseudoclever titles more than any other - hairdressers.  Here is a selection of ones I've seen so far.

Shear Envy - Fitchburg, MA
The Hairport - Orange, MA
Upper Cuts, Round II - Pittsfield, MA
Head Lines - Port Jervis, NY
Hair's to You - Port Jervis, NY
A Cut Above - Berwick, PA
Hair Time - State College, PA
Hairway to Heaven - Cadiz, OH
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow - Gnaw Bone, IN
Larry's Hairy Business - O'Fallon, IL
Wanda Full Salon - St. Louis, MO
Hair Commanders - St. Louis, MO