Holiday Itinerary

 Although I may not be able to update the old blog very frequently in the next three weeks, curious parties can always consult the following schedule to figure out where I am, what trouble I may be in, and which consulate to call in order to post my bail.



Train tracks with an unrealistic
amount of snow



December 18 - Vienna
December 19-21 - Genoa
December 22 - Vienna
December 23 - Waidhofen an der Ybbs
December 24 - Salzburg
December 25 - Salzburg
December 26 - Munich
December 27 - Munich
December 28-31 - Vienna
January 1 - Hamburg
January 2 - Hamburg
January 3-5 - Berlin
January 6 - Vienna
January 7 - Budapest
January 8 - Budapest
January 9 - Waidhofen an der Ybbs

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And today's word, just for fun, is der Dudelsack - bagpipes.

Braving Bratislava



Body heat from the mass of Slovakians
at the Christmas market raised the temperature
to a nearly bearable level.



The weekend before last I made a trip so brief that I nearly forgot to make a comment about it on the blog.  During a weekend visit to Vienna, I took advantage of the fact that European countries are packed onto their tiny continent like sovereign sardines in a multi-cultural tin can and decided to check out Bratislava - a completely different city with a completely different language just forty-five minutes away!   


Admittedly, the timing for my day trip was less than ideal as the temperature was creeping down toward zero (Fahrenheit!) most of the time we were out and about and it finally reached that frosty barrier after the sun went down around 3 o` clock.  The bitter cold surprised me as Bratislava and the comparatively tropical Vienna are at roughly the same latitude.  Seemingly, just crossing the former Iron Curtain reduces the temperature by ten degrees.  Nonetheless, I wanted to cross Slovakia off of my list of Austria's eight bordering countries and I'm happy I did so, even if my fingertips and nose were not appreciative of my efforts.

The so-called UFO Bridge is one of
the worst mistakes I`ve ever seen.

At its core, Bratislava is like a Mozart Ball candy with a minature marzipan center surrounded by unsweeted Soviet chocolate and served in a bowl of hideous architecture (left).  But to be fair, the city's tourist-laden center was truly beautiful and its charms were reminiscent of, but also unique from, those of its more-celebrated neighbor Vienna (fun fact: the two metropolises are the two of the world's closest capital cities).

Funny characters such as this smiling
sewer worker are spread around
the city center.

My friends and I spent less than four hours in the city including frequent thawing breaks, but we managed nonetheless to see all of the sites represented in the first twenty Google Image Search results.  Of these my favorites were the many bizarre characters cast in bronze to be found in and around Hviezdoslav Square (right).  We hustled from site to site and overall the trip had a very "we came, we saw, we photographed" feel.  The city would make an ideal day trip during nicer weather, but doesn't really warrant much more attention.
 

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Today I've picked two of my new favorite wintery German words, both of which are in today's frontpage headlines in Austria.

Der Vorweichnachtsstress is the pre-Christmas stress familiar to many anxious Americans, less prevalent here.
Erfrieren means "to freeze to death," which felt like a real possibility in Bratislava.

Out of Burgenland

I have just returned home from my budget jaunt to the province of Burgenland, where the hills are neglible and the wine flows as freely as tap water at an American casual dining restaurant.

Burgenland - a province known for its Zweigelt grape variety and its proximity to Hungary is perhaps not Austria's most enticing province, but it is nonetheless a crucial cog in my newfound goal of visiting all nine Austrian provinces (although not necessary for my other newfound goal of visiting all eight of Austria's neighboring nations, even Liechtenstein).*

But beyond fulfilling my trivial and arbitrary geographic ambitions, I also had a great time reconnecting with some terrific American friends I made at orientation in Graz back in September and visiting some truly minor tourist attractions.  First and foremost among them was an eerie monument constructed by Nazis in the village of Oberschützen that has since been rededicated as a memorial to the horrors of racism and autocracy.

Approaching the former Nazi monument, finding the weather appropriate

Earlier in our travels, we also found a hideous, concrete dormintory that looked like a Soviet's failed attempt at completing a tangram puzzle without all the pieces.  We used the building as a background to practice making trademark, non-smiling Eastern European facial expressions.


Inconsiderate tractor traffic made for a very representative Burgenland photo

 We then visited a mostly-Hungarian cemetery and did our best to conceal any hint of enjoying the journey.

Perfecting the Eastern European art of not smiling in photos

Yet, at the end of the day, we were all happy to be together.  We enjoyed hot pizza and then a few of us even explored the village nightlife - namely the smoky halls of Discostraße. 

Americans prefer smiling, even while being burned by hot grease

Unfortunately one site that I did not make it to was the nearby village of Klingenbach, where in 1989 the Iron Curtain first ripped and allowed an indirect passage to the West for East Germans.  Another aspiration of mine is to return and snap a photo of myself running across the once-fortified border, hopefully under the surveillance of a confused but harmless border guard. 

Fortunately my somber and rainy return to the weekly grind at school was cushioned by the auspicious arrival of Waidhofen's official town Christmas tree, which, in my absence, appears to have been installed by municipal Christmas fairies in the center of one of our many traffic circles.

And finally, today's German word takes its inspiration from the lowly-populated region where I spent my weekend - das Dorf means "the village."

*So far I have been to four of nine provinces (Vienna, Lower Austria, Styria, and Burgenland) and only one of eight neighbors (Czech Republic).

Who is Krampus?

Krampus - the Publically-Sanctioned Child-Scarer

The handsome gentleman seen to the right is named Krampus, the beloved descendant of a terrifying, pre-Christian Alpine tradition.  I was introduced to him last night when an Austrian friend from Waidhofen generously offered to take me to a Perchtenlauf in the nearby town of Ybbsitz.  Having no idea what a Perchtenlauf might be, and feeling too embarrassed to ask, I gladly accepted the invitation. 

As it turns out, a Perchtenlauf is a traditional parade held annually in many Austrian towns during the Christmas season.  (NOTE: Although it is questionable whether the Christmas season has already properly started, I have noticed that without Thanksgiving as a semi-official starting line, Austrians have a harder time agreeing upon exactly when it is permissible to start celebrating and shopping like maniacs.)  Perchtenlauf is equivalent, perhaps, to America's Macy's Day Parade, but without Matt Lauer or the famously large (and sometimes deadly) balloons.  Instead, a traditional Perchtenlauf features packs of young men dressed as the character Krampus. 

These young men, who are active members of large Krampus clubs, dress up with horns and masks made of wood and sheep skin and wield torches, flares, and clubs as they march through the streets terryfing women and children.  Thankfully, no one is ever actually burned, bitten, or stabbed, and everyone has a good time.  Ample quantities of spiced cider increase the excitement and, along with all the flames, keep the crowd warm. (Click here for a cool Krampus-themed holiday drink recipe)

The Perchtenlauf in Ybbsitz came early in the season, as the busiest day of the year for Krampus is St. Nikolaus Day, the Sixth of December.  On the eve of this holiday, St. Nikolaus/Nicholas - essentially Santa Claus, but dressed more like the Pope (left) - brings presents to well-behaved children, but dispatches the gruesome Krampus to naughty children, whom are then dragged into the pits of hell.  When I asked my Austrian companions to clarify the relationship between Krampus and St. Nikolaus, they explained that they are neither friends nor enemies, but rather co-workers, with St. Nikolaus holding the dominant, upper-management position.

Outside of Perchtenlauf and St. Nikolaus Day, the Krampus tradition is carried out on weekend nights by young men who use the opportunity to harrass women with large cowbells, rusty chains, and home-made whips.  The practice is especially popular at nightclubs and in the province of Styria.  Although this tradition would certainly lead to legal action in the United States, it's all in good fun and even the children really seem to love it.

For some great news footage of one of last year's larger Perchtenlaufs, click here.