23 May 2011

Austria: A Year by the Numbers

Number of cows I've been chased
by on a bike: 2
A numerical summary of 243 days in Europe. 

Countries visited: 12 (Austria, Belgium, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Italy, Germany, Hungary, Greece, Slovenia, Croatia, England, Liechtenstein) 

Bordering countries visited: 7/8 (damn Switzerland!)

Austrian provinces visited: 8/9 (damn Carinthia!)

Degrees Celsius when I went swimming in the Danube: 5

Liters of beer consumed (est.): 170 (based on national average of 108.3)

Average number of ice cream cones per week: 3

Bikes ridden: 7
Reflective moments spent
overlooking Innsbruck: 1

  Metro systems used: 9

  Airplane trips: 2

  Train trips (est.): 86

  Trips to Vienna: 20

  Balls attended: 4

  Public restrooms begrudgingly paid  for: 1

  Number of hostels visited: 10

Number of nights spent in a hospital: 1

Number of nights not spent in a hospital: 242

Classes visited: 28

Lesson plans created: 90.4 MB

Students murdered: 0

Number of blog posts: 64

Books read: 11 German, 10 English

Free time during the week: lots

Number of chickens in my backyard: 3

Kilograms of stuff I'm allowed to bring back: 46

18 May 2011

The Trouble with Treffpunkts

A Treffpunkt
One of the first things I noticed after arriving in Austria was a curious green sign that seemed to greet me everywhere I went.  Using my skills of deduction I determined that they either served to indicate places where groups of four are pointed at and ridiculed or where bald people perform a cappella.  I found out later that these ubiquitous signs are Treffpunkte, or meeting points. 

Meeting points in Europe, like their scarce brethren in the US, are logically and conveniently located in places like train stations, airports, and shopping malls.  What is most peculiar, however, is that they are also illogically and inappropriately found in places like dark alleyways, open fields (see photo), loosely-populated neighborhoods, and bodies of water.  Having spent some time considering the possible cultural significance of this phenomenon, I've come to the following Treffpunkt theories:

Where was everybody else?
-Austrians are incapable of identifying or describing natural landmarks.

-The traffic sign manufacturers' union has an unusual amount of sway within the Ministry for Placement and Installation of Unnecessary Traffic Signs.

-Austrians like to have tweetups in the woods.

-Americans just don't like to meet up as much as Austrians.

-Austria's abundant Treffpunkts have been set up by an underground network of drug dealers who have never heard of cell phones or when2meet.com.

Feel free to add any further theories as comments.  Together we can unlock this mystery!

15 May 2011

Fon in London

About two months ago I spontaneously booked an irresistibly cheap round trip fair to London with Ryanair - the preferred airline of tightwads, people with very low standards, and the Irish.  The many luxuries of flying with Ryanair include walking across the tarmac to the plane, qualifying a newspaper as "carry-on luggage" and holding your pee, but the price is just unbeatable. 

I was excited to go see this painting as I once
taught a lesson about this topic, despite
being majorly unqualified to talk about art.


After arriving at Stansted, I took a shuttle into the city, which I found to be astoundingly modern and multi-cultural in comparison to Austrian cities, despite the UK's alarming adherence to driving on the left.  The weather in London was uncharacteristically unbad, so we spent most of our time outdoors, walking from site to site rather than checking out the over-priced and over-hyped indoor attractions.  We did stop by to see the Tate Modern, home to the famous Roy Lichtenstein painting Whaam! (see right).  I also ran quickly into the British Museum to see the Rosetta Stone and the Parthenon Marbles.  The museum described the latter set of statues as more or less "protected from the careless Greeks", although I remembered that in Athens they were essentially described as "stolen by the greedy British".  Museum politics are rarely so interesting.

Other than one English breakfast and a scone (sadly without clotted cream), I mostly stayed away from English food, which is often boiled and infrequently praised.  However, although England has a less-than-sterling culinary reputation, I thought that London was a great place to eat as there were restaurants serving food from just about every ethnicity imaginable.  And if you forget about the crushingly unfavorable exchange rate, the prices almost seem cheap!

Other than one English breakfast and a scone (sadly without clotted cream), I mostly stayed away from English food, which is often boiled and infrequently praised.  However, despite England's less-than-sterling culinary reputation, I thought that London was a great place to eat as there were restaurants serving food from just about every ethnicity imaginable.  And if you forget about the crushingly unfavorable exchange rate, the prices almost seem cheap!

I've always had an odd interest in massive, nineteenth-century department stores, so naturally I also checked out Harrods - the UK's largest shop and once home to one of the world's first escalators (which apparently caused such a stir that distressed ladies were given smelling salts and cognac to calm their nerves).  Having seen both Harrods and Buckingham Palace, I admit that it's hard to say which is actually grander.

My short trip was rounded out with a trip to the West End to see Wicked, which is even more fun than the reviews suggest. 

 

09 May 2011

Things I'm going to miss about Austria

Waidhofen Stadtturm, with
our 25 meter tall maypole!
I'll be leaving in just over two weeks, and I've started to think about the things I'm going to miss once I move back to the USA.  A bulleted list:

-Lovely springtime weather in the Ybbstal.  This valley is absurdly lush and it's been an amazing place for hiking, jogging, cycling, swimming, and outdoor napping.

-Practical, non-Amtrak train travel.

-Having things to blog about

This spring Waidhofen got really
green, really fast. 

-Drinking outdoors not necessarily indicating that one is a degenerate. 

-Having sales tax included in the listed price of goods at the store and thus feeling as though I do not pay sales tax.

-Practicing German.

-Topfen (also known as Quark in Germany), a type of curd cheese that is a healthy, tasty, cheap, dress-it-up-dress-it-down miracle food.

-Austrian Gemütlichkeit

-Being employed.

-Austrians, Americans, and even Brits that I've met, blahblahblah.

-Referring to people with definite articles before their names, as Austrians tend to do.
Ex: "Hello, I am the Scott, it is nice to meet you." "Hello, you may call me the Helmut.  Are you friends with the Carinna?" "Do you mean the Baumgärtner Carina." "Yes, her." "Oh, then I am friends with the Carina."



Stayed tuned for things I'm not going to miss about Austria (a much shorter list).

03 May 2011

The Road to Vienna

Translation: "A sign with the Austrian flag, this must be the way to Vienna!"
Austrians in the countryside tend not to be crazy about the Viennese, espcially when driving.

25 April 2011

The Land of Oil, Wine, and Delayed Trains

View from a monastery in Monterosso -
Italians love the Lord almost as much as
they love smoking cigarettes while riding
Vespas.
I've just returned from two full weeks in Italy and, although I enjoyed myself thorougly, I think that I'll be taking a long break from pizza, gelato, and Catholicism.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that I really recommend visiting urban Italy.  I thought that Rome and Florence, though full of sites, lacked the charm and culinary delights that they are known for internationally (Pisa, which thankfully I visited for just one afternoon, has roughly zero redeeming qualities).  Rome, where I spent the most time, is certainly the place for grandiose fountains, archaeological treasures, and very wide steps.  However, outside of the city's many UNESCO sites and other tourist hellholes, it looks and feels a lot like New Jersey, but with fewer Italians.  I actually prefered Genoa, a city I visited right before Christmas, perhaps because it is relatively removed from the tourism radar, perhaps because I was staying with a real-live Italian at the time.  
The rocks were no match for me in Riomaggiore
I'd say that the best thing about my trip to Rome actually had nothing to do with Italy at all.  The highlight of the trip was really practicing German and celebrating my birthday with my students and teachers from Austria.

After a jam-packed week in Rome, I destressed for four days in the Cinque Terre, an increasingly-popular-but-not-quite-yet-dominated-by-tourists slice of the Ligurian Coast with my friends Katie, Taylor, and Jenni, as well as a New Zealander named Simon.

We hiked between the five small villages that compose the Cinque Terre, relaxed on the beach, rented bicycles, sampled every different combination of gelato flavors, and religiously followed the Rick Steves guided tour of each town (whose passionately-written guide is often held responsible for the increasing prominence of tourism here).  We stayed at an atypically clean and uncharming hostel in Corniglia, the smallest of the five towns.  The village was a good place to stay because of its strategic location and the 382 steps between the town center and the train station, which helped us in the daily struggle to burn off the oily and over-priced focaccia bread that sustained us.  Leaving our village behind was a real tragedy, although it's good to be back in Austria for the tail end of my travels.
Taylor and I searching for the train station



A anecdote and fun fact about the Italian work ethic: One time I needed to wait 19 minutes (I clocked it) to buy two stamps at an Italian post office even though I was the only customer in line and there were approximately five employees behind the counter.  It's really no surprise that Italy has the world's sixth largest gov't budget for the world's twenty-third largest population.   

24 April 2011

Sample Dialogue #8

Patriotic Austrian Easter Eggs
are much easier to dye than American
ones.
In class, during a lesson on holidays.

Scott: Can anybody explain why we celebrate Easter?
Student: Easter is the day when Jesus stood up and drove to heaven.
Scott: With the bus or with the car?



Aufstehen -  "to arise/to stand up"
die Himmelfahrt - "the Ascension," more literally, "heaven drive"